"How to Stop Worrying & Start Living" by Dale Carnegie

• That is what this book is: a collection of successful and time tested recipes to rid our lives of worry. However, let me warn you: You won’t find anything new in it, but you will find much that is not generally applied. 
• Our trouble is not ignorance, but inaction. 
• Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand. 
• Shut off the future as tightly as the past...The future is today...There is no tomorrow. The day of man’s salvation is now. 
• The best possible way to prepare for tomorrow is to concentrate with all your intelligence, all your enthusiasm, on doing today’s work superbly today. 
• By all means take thoughts for the tomorrow, yes, careful thought and planning and preparation. But have no anxiety. 
• One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of use tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon--instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. 
• Today is our most precious possession. It is our only sure possession. 
• So, the first thing you should know about worry is this: If you want to keep it out of your life, do what Sir William Osler did--Shut the iron doors on the past and the future. Live in Day-tight Compartments. 
• A Magic Formula for Solving Worry Situations: 
• Step 1. Analyze the situation fearlessly and honestly and figure out what is the worst that could possible happen as a result of this failure. 
• Step 2. After figuring out what is the worst that could possibly happen, reconcile yourself to accept it, if necessary. 
• Step 3. From this time on, calmly devote your time and energy to trying to improve upon the worst which you have already accepted mentally. 
• When we worry, our mind jump here and there and everywhere, and we lose all power of decision. 
• So, Rule 2 is: If you have a worry problem, apply the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier by doing these three things: 
• Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?” 
• Prepare to accept it if you have to. 
• Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst. 
• Worry is like the constant drip, drip, drip of water; and the constant drip, drip, drip, of worry often drive men to insanity and suicide. 
• Most of us are stronger than we realize. We have inner resources that we have probably never tapped. 
• Face the facts: Quit worrying; then do something about it! 
• Those who do not know how to fight worry die young. 
• The answer is that we must equip ourselves to deal with different kinds of worries by learning the three basic steps of problem analysis. The three steps are: 
• Get the facts. 
• Analyze the facts. 
• Arrive at a decision--and then act on that decision. 
• Let’s take the first rule: Get the facts. Why is it so important to get the facts? Because unless we have the facts, we can’t possible even attempt to solve our problem intelligently. Without the facts, all we can do is stew around in confusion. 
• If a man will devote his time to securing facts in an impartial, objective way, his worries will usually evaporate in the light of knowledge. 
• We have to keep our emotions our or our thinking; and, as Dean Hawkes put it, we must secure the facts in “an impartial, objective” manner. 
• I have found from costly experience that it is much easier to analyze the facts after writing them down. In fact, merely writing the facts on a piece of paper and stating our problem clearly goes a long way toward helping us reach a sensible decision. 
• Experience has proved to me, time after time, the enormous value of arriving at a decision. It is the failure to arrive at a fixed purpose, the inability to stop going round and round in maddening circles, that drives men to nervous breakdowns and living hells. I find that fifty per cent of my worries vanish once I arrive at a clear, definite decision; and another forty per cent usually vanishes once I start to carry out that decision. 
• So I banish about ninety per cent of my worries by taking these four steps: 
• Writing down precisely what I am worrying about. 
• Writing down what I can do about it. 
• Deciding what to do. 
• Starting immediately to carry out that decision. 
• Why is his method so superb? Because it is efficient, concrete, and goes directly to the heart of the problem. On top of all that, it is climaxed by the third and indispensable rule: Do something about it. Unless we carry out our action, all our fact-finding and analysis is whistling up-wind--it’s a sheer waste of energy. 
• Once you have made a careful decision based on facts, go into action. 
• You can reduce your worries by fifty percent [by asking these questions]: 
• What is the problem? 
• What is the cause of the problem? 
• What are all possible solutions to the problem? 
• What solution do you suggest? 
• I realized that it is difficult to worry while you are busy doing something that requires planning and thinking. 
• Why does such a simple thing as keeping busy help to drive out anxiety? Because of a law--one of the most fundamental laws ever revealed by psychology. And that law is: that it is utterly impossible for any human mind, no matter how brilliant, to think of more than one thing at any given time. 
• The remedy for worry is to get completely occupied doing something constructive. 
• If you and I are worried, let’s remember that we can use good old-fashion work as a medicine. 
• If you and I don’t keep busy--if we sit around and brood--we will hatch out a whole flock of what Charles Darwin used to call the “wibber gibbers”. And the “wibber gibbers” are nothing but old-fashion gremlins that will run us hollow and destroy our power of action and our power of will. 
• George Bernard Shaw was right. He summed it all up when he said: “The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not”. 
• Get busy. Keep busy. It’s the cheapest kind of medicine there is on this earth--and one of the best. 
• To break the worry habit, here is Rule 1: Keep busy. The worried person must lose himself in action, lest he wither in despair. 
• We often face the major disasters of life bravely--and then let the trifles, the “pains in the neck”, get us down. 
• To break the worry habit before it breaks you, here is Rule 2: Let’s not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Remember “Life is too short to be little”. 
• If we examine the law of averages, we will often be astounded at the facts we uncover. 
• It has been said that nearly all of our worries and unhappiness come from our imagination and not from reality. 
• To break the worry habit before it breaks you--here is Rule 3: “Let’s examine the record”. Let’s ask ourselves: “What are the chances, according to the law of averages, that this event I am worrying about will ever occur?” 
• It is astonishing how quickly we can accept almost any situation--if we have to--and adjust ourselves to it and forget about it. 
• It is so. It cannot be otherwise. 
• Obviously, circumstances alone do not make us happy or unhappy. It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings. 
• To break the worry habit before it breaks you, Rule 4 is: Cooperate with the inevitable. 
• We are fools when we overpay for a thing in terms of what it takes out of our very existence. 
• So, to break the worry habit before it breaks you, here is Rule 5: Whenever we are tempted to throw good money after bad in terms of human living, let’s stop and ask ourselves these three questions: 
• How much does this thin I am worrying about really matter to me? 
• At what point shall I set a “stop-loss” order on this worry--and forget it? 
• Exactly how much shall I pay for this whistle? Have I already paid more than it is worth? 
• Knowledge isn’t power until it is applied. 
• So let’s remember Rule 7: Don’t try to saw sawdust. 
• By far the most vital lesson I have ever learned is the importance of what we think. If I knew what you think, I would know what you are. Our thoughts make us what we are. Our mental attitude is the X factor that determines our fate. Emerson said: “A man is what he thinks about all day long. How could he possibly be anything else?” 
• Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not. 
• Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life. 
• Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of externals. 
• Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful. 
• When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us. 
• Let’s never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let’s do as General Eisenhower does: Let’s never waste a minute thinking about people lwe don’t like. 
• “An angry man,” said Confucius, “is always full of poison.” 
• Human nature has always been human nature--and it probably won’t change in your lifetime. So why not accept it? 
• Here is the first point I am trying to make in this chapter: It is natural for people to forget to be grateful; so, if we go around expecting gratitude, we are headed straight for a lot of heartaches. 
• Here is the second point I am trying to make in this chapter: If we want to find happiness, let’s stop thinking about gratitude or ingratitude and give for the inner joy of giving. 
• We must remember that our children are very much what we make them. 
• Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let’s expect it. 
• Let’s remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to give for the joy of giving. 
• Let’s remember that gratitude is a “cultivated” trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful. 
• Why don’t you stop right now and ask yourself: “What in the hell am I worry about?” You will probably find that it is comparatively unimportant and insignificant. 
• About ninety percent of the things in our lives are right about ten percent ar wrong. If we want to be happy, all we have to do is to concentrate on the ninety percent that are right and ignore the ten percent that are wrong. 
• Count your blessings--not your troubles! 
• No matter what happens, always be yourself! 
• “Experience has taught me,” says Sam Wood, “that it is safest to drop, as quickly as possible, people who pretend to be what they aren’t.” 
• You are something new in this world. Be glad of it. Make the most of what nature gave you. 
• Let’s not imitate others. Let’s find ourselves and be ourselves. 
• The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on your gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence; and it makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool. 
• Two reasons why we have everything to gain and nothing to lose. 
• Reason one: We may succeed. 
• Reason two: Even if we don’t succeed, the mere attempt to turn our minus into a pus will cause us to look forward instead of backward; it will replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts; it will release creative energy and spur us to get so busy that we won’t have either the time or the inclination to mourn over what is past and forever gone. 
• When fate hands s a lemon, let’s try to make a lemonade. 
• By giving, we receive. 
• Thinking of others will not only keep you from worrying about yourself, it will also help you to make a lot of friends and have a lot of fun. 
• Forget yourself by becoming interested in others. 
• Every day do a good deed that will put a smile of joy on someone's face. 
• We saw in that it is almost impossible to death with a problem while it remains vague and nebulous. Praying, in a way, is very much like writing our problems down on paper. 
• Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog. Yes, and the more important the dog is, the more satisfaction people get in kicking him. 
• So when you are kicked and criticized, remember that it is often done because it gives the kicker a feeling of importance. It often means that you are accomplishing something and are worthy of attention. Many people get a sense of savage satisfaction out of denouncing those who are better educated than they are or more successful. 
• Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. 
• Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog. 
• Most of us take the little jibes and javelins that are hurled at us far too seriously. 
• I realize now that people are not thinking about you and me or caring what is said about us. They are thinking about themselves--before breakfast, after breakfast, and right on until ten minutes past midnight. They would be a thousand times more concerned about a slight headache of their own than they would about the news of your death or mine. 
• I discovered years ago that although I couldn’t keep people from criticizing me unjustly, I could do something infinitely more important: I could determine whether I would let the unjust condemnation disturb me. 
• Never be bothered by what people say, as long as you know in your heart you are right. 
• You can answer the man who answers you back, but what can you say to the man who “just laughs”? 
• Do the very best you can; and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck. 
• I used to blame my troubles on other people; but as I have grown older--and wiser, I hope--I have realized that I myself, in the last analysis, am to blame for almost all my misfortunes. 
• Instead of waiting for our enemies to criticize us or our work, let’s beat them to it. Let’s be our own most severe critic. Let’s find and remedy all our weaknesses before our enemies get a chance to say a word. 
• We are not creatures of logic. We are creatures of emotions. 
• Let’s keep a record of the fool things we have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can’t hope to be perfect, let’s do what E. H. Little did: Let’s ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism. 
• Fatigue often produces worry, or, at least, it makes you susceptible to worry. 
• You cannot continue to worry if you relax. So, to prevent fatigue and worry, the first rule is: Rest often. Rest before you get tired. 
• Rest is not a matter of doing absolutely nothing. Rest is repair. 
• Let me repeat: Do what the Army does--take frequent rests. Do what your heart does--rest before you get tired, and you will add one hour a day to your waking life. 
• Learn to relax while you are doing your work! 
• Tension is a habit. And bad habits can be broken, good habits formed. 
• Relaxation is the absence of all tension and effort. 
• Relax in odd moments. 
• Work, as much as possible, in a comfortable position. 
• Talking things out, then, is one of the principle therapies used at the Boston Dispensary Class. 
• Keep a notebook or scrapbook for “inspirational” reading. 
• Don’t dwell too long on the shortcomings of others! 
• Get interested in people! Develop a friendly, healthy interest in the people who share your life. 
• Make up a schedule for tomorrow's work before you go to bed tonight. 
• Finally--avoid tension and fatigue. Relax! Relax! Nothing will make you look old sooner than tension and fatigue. 
• Good Working Habit No. 1: Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand. 
• Good Working Habit No. 2: Do things in the order of their importance. 
• Those two priceless abilities: first, the ability to think. Second, the ability to do things in the order of their importance. 
• Good Working Habit No. 3: When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision. Don’t keep putting off decisions. 
• Good Working Habit No. 4: Learn to organize, deputize, and supervise. 
• Many business persons are driving themselves to premature graves because they have never learned to delegate responsibility to others, insisting on doing everything themselves. 
• One of the chief cause of fatigue is boredom. 
• We rarely get tired when we are doing something interesting and exciting. 
• Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration, and resentment. 
• Where your interest are, there is your energy also. 
• If you act “as if” you are interested in your job, that bit of acting will tend to make your interest real. It will also tend to decrease your fatigue, your tensions, and your worries. 
• Our life is what our thoughts make it. 
• By thinking the right thoughts, you can make any job less distasteful. 
• One of the best cures for insomnia is making yourself physically tired by gardening, swimming, tennis, golf, skiing, or by just plain physically exhausting work. 
• I had often heard people say that ninety-nine percent of the things we worry and stew and fret about never happen. 
• That experience has taught me a lesson I'll never forget. It has shown me the folly and tragedy of stewing about events that haven’t happened--events that are beyond our control and may never happen. 
• Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Ask yourself: How do I know this thing I am worrying about will really come to pass? 
• After reading history for an hour, I realize that bad as conditions are now, they are infinitely better than they used to be. This enables me to see and face my present troubles in their proper perspective as well as to realize that the world as a whole is constantly growing better. 
• Here is a method that deserves a whole chapter. Read history! Try to get the viewpoint of ten thousand years--and see how trivial your troubles are, in terms of eternity! 
• When the fierce, burning winds blow over our lives--and we cannot prevent them--let us, too, accept the inevitable. And then get busy and pick up the pieces! 
• I have always felt that one of the chief reasons for success in life is enthusiasm. 
• I have found that I can crowd worry out of mind by reading an absorbing book. 
• I am a great believer in working up a tremendous sweat. I found that depression and worry oozed out of my system with the sweat. 
• Sometimes when I have too many things to do at once, I sit down and relax and smoke my pipe for an hour and do nothing. 
• I say to myself, “Two months from now I shall not be worried about this bad break, so why worry about it now? Why not assume now the same attitude that I will have two months from now?” 
• Live with gusto and enthusiasm. 
• Read an interesting book. 
• Play games. 
• Relax while you work. 
• I try to see my troubles in their proper perspective.e 
• I have learned to live each day as it comes and not to borrow trouble by dreading the morrow. 
• I find the best antidote for worry is exercise. Use your muscles more and your brain less when you are worried, and you will be surprised at the result. 
• If you devoted half as much time and energy to solving your problems as you do to worrying about them, you wouldn’t have any worries. Worrying is just a vicious habit you have learned. 
• He gave me three rules to break the worry habit: 
• Rule 1: Find out precisely what is the problem you are worrying about. 
• Rule 2: Find out the cause of the problem. 
• Rule 3: Do something constructive at once about solving the problem. 
• As I look back at it now, I can see that my problem was one of confusion, a distinction to find the causes of my worry and face them realistically. 
• It is good to know that we have hit bottom and survived. That makes all our daily problems seem easy by comparison. 
• I soon found that I couldn’t worry about myself and laugh at myself at one and the same time. So I’ve been laughing at myself ever since. 
• The point of this is: Don’t take yourself too seriously. Try just laughing at some of your sillier worries, and see if you can’t laugh them out of existence. 
• I have kept my financial worries to a minimum also by doing two things. First, I have always followed a rule of absolute one hundred percent integrity in everything. 
• Second, when I started a new venture, I always kept an ace in the hole. 
• I put into my work the energy that I had been putting into worrying. Little by little, my situation began to improve. I am almost thankful now that I had to go through all that misery; it gave me strength, fortitude, and confidence. I know now what it means to hit bottom. I know it doesn’t kill you. I know we can stand more than we think we can. 
• Accept the inevitable! If you can’t go lower, you can try going up. 
• What a fool you are to be worrying about something that hasn’t happened and may never happen. Life is short. I have only a few years to live, so I must enjoy life. 
• I have made it a rule to throw into the wastebasket all the problems that I can no longer do anything about. 
• Remember what George Bernard Shaw said? “The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not.” Keep active, keep busy! 
• Time solves a lot of things. Time may also solve what you are worrying about today. 
• Worry is a habit. 
• I soon found that you can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. This is the most important lesson I have ever learned. 
• Avoid worry. Never worry about anything, under any kind of circumstances. 
• Relax, and take plenty of mild exercise in the open air. 
• Watch your diet. Always stop eating while you’re still a little hungry. 
• Several times a day, I stop everything and take inventory of myself to see if I am entirely relaxed.