THE ILLUSTRATED ART OF MANLINESS by Brett McKay, Ted Slampyak

• MANHOOD HAS always been about the competence to be effective in the world.
• To be manly means acquiring a breadth of skills so that you can deftly and adroitly handle any situation you find yourself in.
• Across cultures, research shows that the traits women find most attractive in men are competence and effectiveness—not sports cars or six-pack abs.
• Plus, it simply feels awesome to know you possess the skills and confidence to walk into any situation and know how to act, how to own the room, and how to solve any problem that arises.
• As you expand your skill set, you increase your ability to be effective in the world around you.
• SOMETHING IN the masculine heart calls men to explore the unknown.
• Through adventure, a man has a chance to take risks, improvise, and show deftness of skill in an unfamiliar environment. He has an opportunity to turn if into did.
• Food, water, fire, and shelter are critical to your survival in an emergency situation.
• While no ice is guaranteed to be safe to walk on, the rule of thumb is that you shouldn’t venture out onto clear ice that is less than 2 inches thick; a safer bet is 4 inches.
• I Repeat, Always Carry Bear Spray
• Few things are more dangerous than diving into an unknown body of water from a high place.
• from a height of 20 feet, your body will be traveling at 25 miles per hour when it hits the water.
• Pencil dives minimize surface area and reduce impact on your body.
• Survival experts refer to the Rule of Threes: the average person can go three minutes without air, three hours without shelter (in a harsh environment), three days without water, and three weeks without food.
• We think of plane crashes as catastrophic, unsurvivable events. Thankfully, that isn’t the case—the National Transportation Safety Board found that the survival rate of crashes is 95.7%.
• The odds of being in a plane crash are slim, but they’re not zero.
• The thing that kills most passengers in a plane crash isn’t the actual impact, it’s the fire that typically engulfs the plane afterward. It takes, on average, just ninety seconds for a fire to burn through the plane’s fuselage and consume everything in it.
• The best seat to have is in the exit row. If you can’t snag that seat, go for the aisle. You’ll increase your chance of survival by 6% over a window seat.
• OUR BRAINS react slowly to disaster. Instead of springing to action when something unexpected happens, our brain shrugs and assumes that what is going on can’t be so bad, because truly bad events are so out of the ordinary.
• CLOSE TO 80% of all plane crashes occur during the first three minutes after takeoff or the final eight minutes before landing.
• A cell phone is the single most useful survival tool you have… as long as you have service and plenty of battery power.
• A tornado’s biggest danger is flying debris. It can turn two-by-fours, bricks, and branches into deadly missiles.
• ALMOST ANY natural fiber will act as a wick and almost any oil or fat will act as a fuel.
• But the best reason to carry a handkerchief has nothing to do with you. It’s the chance to lend it to others.
• When in doubt, set a solid color tie against a classic white shirt.
• The trick is to make sure there is a unifying or matching color between the shirt and tie.
• your belt should always be the same color as your shoes.
• a pair of shiny shoes sets you apart as a man who cares about the details.
• Shining your shoes not only makes your shoes look good, but maintains them.
• Dressed up or dressed down, a sport coat is the ultimate go-to clothing item for any date—and
• Chivalry isn’t dead. It’s alive anytime a man goes out of his way to offer a helping hand, a kind gesture, or a sincere remark.
• Sameness is boring. Difference creates attraction.
• The key to good manners is to make your efforts look effortless.
• OPEN doors regardless of gender. Holding doors open isn’t something you need to do just for women. It’s an act of common courtesy you can show to any person.
• Remember, the goal of courtesy is to make others feel comfortable, not awkward.
• Tools make the inconceivable possible.
• Through skilled practice, a technician masters his tools in order to master the world around him. This mastery brings a deep sense of satisfaction and confidence that differs from the rewards of more ethereal “knowledge work.”
• THE MOST intimidating part of driving a stick shift is getting the car into first gear.
• ANTI-LOCK BRAKE Systems (ABS) will not allow your wheels to lock up; they’ll pulsate brake pressure at all four wheels so that the tires keep turning.
• The squat is one of the most basic human movements, and calls upon some of the largest muscles in the body.
• Pull-ups are one of the best ways to make serious strength gains without a mess of equipment.
• Bodyweight exercises, ranging from push-ups, pull-ups, and dips, to squats, leg raises, and burpees, are an excellent way to build strength and endurance wherever you are.
• All you need is a tolerance for pain and a drive to improve.
• To ensure you don’t freeze or fail in an emergency, learn how to manage extreme stress.
• Situational awareness is knowing what’s going on around you. It sounds easy, but it requires much practice.
• Establish Baselines, Anomalies, and Action Plans
• WE ESTABLISH baselines so that we can direct our attention to anomalies.
• Most people try to get along with others, so they act in accommodating and submissive ways. Dominant behavior thus constitutes an anomaly, and the person displaying it deserves more attention.
• A COMMON display of uncomfortable behavior you’ll see from individuals up to no good is “checking their six”: looking over their shoulder behind them or scanning their surroundings.
• ESTABLISH baselines. Look for anomalies. Have a plan. That’s situational awareness.
• We don’t rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training.
• Meditation can help clear stressful thoughts from your mind. To meditate, sit in a quiet place and focus on your breath going in your nose and out your mouth.
• For self-defense, do more than go to the gun range or punch a heavy bag. Train under the same pressure you’ll experience in real life.
• Most active shootings end in two minutes or less.
• WHEN emergency strikes, the natural response for most people is to do nothing.
• Run, Hide, and Fight—In That Order
• Even a pen can multiply the impact of your force.
• Most people’s natural reaction is not to do anything. Be assertive and take the lead. Courage is contagious.
• The tighter the zip tie, the easier it is to break.
• The trunk of a car is nothing more than a mobile prison.
• FAMILY IS the laboratory of our lives. Within our families we learn and practice all the vital skills of human flourishing.
• Loving relationships are the most important contributor to a man’s happiness, success, and ability to live a fully flourishing life.
• One of the most important factors in creating and sustaining these relationships is communication.
• AVOID judgment words or loaded terms.
• AVOID “you” messages of blame and accusation.
• The most important skill to have as a new dad (if you wish to maintain your sanity) is being able to calm your baby when he or she cries.
• No matter how much a baby cries, stay as zen as possible.
• Our smartphones allow us to do many things more efficiently, they entertain us when we’re bored, and they keep us informed when we need answers. But life’s most rewarding activities are analog.
• An anomaly isn’t necessarily a threat.
• HAVE A plan. In every place you go, make a plan for what you’ll do if you notice an anomaly.
• IF SOMEONE IS GIVING YOUR FAMILY TROUBLE, LEAVE. DON’T ESCALATE.
• An uncle is there to help a child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.
• LEADERS AREN’T BORN. THEY’RE MADE—OFTEN IN THE FURNACE OF SETBACKS.
• EXEMPLIFY quiet resolution by sticking to your values, committing to your decisions, and standing strong throughout crises when they develop.
• BE willing to take risks when necessary.
• REWARD subordinates when their efforts have helped your team succeed.
• TAKE your equal share of blame when things go wrong.
• DO not dwell on past successes or failures. Rather, focus on future goals.
• A leader makes decisions. But with a flood of tasks coming your way, you can spend more time managing crises and putting out fires than making meaningful progress. If you find yourself constantly treading water, you have likely confused urgency with importance.
• “What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important.”
• EFFECTIVE LEADERS spend more time on the important tasks and less time on the urgent ones. The hard part is figuring out which is which.
• THE OODA Loop is based on the belief that we are hindered by an inability to rapidly make sense of a changing reality. When circumstances change, we fail to revise our mental models and struggle to see the world as we feel it should be, rather than how it really is.
• TAKING IN new information about our environment is crucial in revising the mental models we use to make decisions.
• To orient yourself in a changing environment, you must constantly break apart old mental models and reassemble them to better match reality.
• Build a robust toolbox of mental models.
• BOYD LAYS out seven disciplines you ought to know: Mathematical Logic, Physics, Thermodynamics, Biology, Psychology, Anthropology, and Conflict (Game Theory).
• BECAUSE THE world around you is constantly changing, orientation is something you can never stop doing. “Always Be Orienting” should become your mantra.
• Action is how we find out if our mental models are correct.
• The key to speed is practice.
• Charisma is what allows you to command a room, draws others to you, and convinces people of your success. It’s an essential part of being a leader.
• Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth, places the behaviors that produce strong personal magnetism into three categories: Presence, Power, and Warmth.
• Real charisma makes the other person feel important—that you were actually present with them.
• Eye contact imparts a sense of intimacy to your exchanges, and leaves the receiver of your gaze feeling more connected to you.
• Breaking in the instant a person pauses sends the signal that you were only thinking about what you wanted to say instead of listening to them. Waiting two seconds before you respond will convey that you’ve taken in what they said.
• SPEAK less and more slowly. Powerful people take up space in conversation—but don’t hog the speaking time.
• KNOW a little about a lot. Intelligence is a key marker of a man who is able to affect the world around him. Read every chance you get.
• SMILE when you speak. This puts more warmth in your voice, and is especially useful when talking on the phone.
• SMILE, dammit! It makes you more attractive and approachable.
• BE liberal with the thank you notes. They tell people you noticed and took the time to acknowledge them. It’s warmth in an envelope.
• IT’S HARDER to maintain good posture while sitting than standing, so the first thing you can do is start sitting less.
• A slouched posture can lead to low mood.
• Besides causing a Quasimodo hunch, sitting for long periods of time can cause lots of tightness in your hips.
• PREVENTION IS THE BEST REMEDY: SIT LESS AND MOVE MORE
• THE COUCH stretch is basically a quad stretch ratcheted up a few notches. It will undo years of sitting.
• No matter how smoothly you do it, a graceful exit is impossible if it’s at the wrong time.
• A good general rule to follow is to dress one notch up from that workplace’s dress code.
• Whether greeting someone for the first or the hundredth time, a good handshake conveys confidence, strength, warmth, honesty, and a host of other character traits.