"How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

• About 15 percent of one’s financial success is due to one’s technical knowledge and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering -- to personality and the ability to lead people.
• My popularity, my happiness and sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my skill in dealing with people.
• Remember that the use of these principles can be made habitual only by a constant and vigorous campaign of review and application.
• Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.
• We learn by doing.
• Sharp criticisms and rebukes almost invariably end in futility.
• When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
• Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
• We often take our spouses so much for granted that we never let them know we appreciate them.
• In the long run, flattery will do more harm than good.
• Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.
• In our interpersonal relationships we should never forget that all our associates are human beings and hunger for appreciation.
• The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
• If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as your own.
• The rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage.
• Fundamental techniques in handling people
• Don’t criticize, condemn or complain
• Give honest and sincere appreciation
• Arouse in the other person an eager want
• You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
• People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves -- morning, noon, and after dinner.
• The expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back.
• Everybody in the world is seeking happiness -- and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.
• Most people don’t remember names, for the simple reason that they don’t take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds.
• Exclusive attention to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is so flattering as that.
• To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.
• Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.
• The royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.
• The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely.
• Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.
• Six ways to make people like you
• Become genuinely interested in other people
• Smile
• Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
• Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
• Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
• Make the other person feel important -- and do it sincerely.
• There is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument -- and that is to avoid it.
• You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.
• There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one’s errors. It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the error.
• Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes -- and most fools do -- but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feelings of nobility and exultation to admit one’s mistakes.
• The skillful speaker gets, at the outset, a number of “Yes” responses.
• Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.
• A person usually has two reasons for doing a thing; one that sounds good and a real one.
• Win people to your way of thinking
• The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
• Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
• If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
• Begin in a friendly way.
• Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
• Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
• Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
• Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
• By sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
• Appeal to the nobler motives.
• Dramatize your ideas.
• Throw down a challenge.
• People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued.
• Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong, we only destroy ego by causing someone to lose face.
• We all crave appreciation and recognition, and will do almost anything to get it. But nobody wants insincerity. Nobody wants flattery.
• If you want to improve a person in a certain respect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics.
• The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or behavior:
• Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.
• Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.
• Be empathetic. Ask yourself what it is the other person really wants.
• Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.
• Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.
• When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit.
• Be a leader
• Begin with praise and honest appreciation
• Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
• Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
• Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
• Let the other person save face.
• Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in you praise.”
• Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
• Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
• Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.